Chapter IX

Emily Bronte

1. I went into the kitchen, and sat down to lull my little lamb to sleep. Heathcliff, as I thought, walked through to the barn. It turned out afterwards that he only got as far as the other side the settle, when he flung himself on a bench by the wall, removed from the fire, and remained silent.

2. I was rocking Hareton on my knee, and humming a song that began—

“It was far in the night, and the bairnies grat1,

The mither beneath the mools heard that,”2

when Miss Cathy, who had listened to the hubbub from her room, put her head in, and whispered:

3. “Are you alone, Nelly?”'

4. “Yes, miss,” I replied.

5. She entered and approached the hearth. I, supposing she was going to say something, looked up. The expression of her face seemed disturbed and anxious. Her lips were half asunder, as if she meant to speak, and she drew a breath; but it escaped in a sigh instead of a sentence.

6. I resumed my song, not having forgotten her recent behaviour.

7. “Where’s Heathcliff?” she said, interrupting me.

8. “About his work in the stable,” was my answer.

9. He did not contradict me; perhaps he had fallen into a doze.

10. There followed another long pause, during which I perceived a drop or two trickle from Catherine’s cheek to the flags.

11. Is she sorry for her shameful conduct? I asked myself. That will be a novelty, but she may come to the point as she will—I shan't help her!

12. No, she felt small trouble regarding any subject, save her own concerns.

13. “Oh, dear!” she cried at last. “I’m very unhappy!”

14. “A pity,” observed I. “You’re hard to please—so many friends and so few cares, and can’t make yourself content!”

15. “Nelly, will you keep a secret for me?” she pursued, kneeling down by me, and lifting her winsome eyes to my face with that sort of look which turns off bad temper, even when one has all the right in the world to indulge it3.

16. “Is it worth keeping?” I inquired, less sulkily.

17. “Yes, and it worries me, and I must let it out! I want to know what I should do. To-day, Edgar Linton has asked me to marry him, and I’ve given him an answer. Now, before I tell you whether it was a consent, or denial, you tell me which it ought to have been.”

18. “Really, Miss Catherine, how can I know?” I replied. “To be sure, considering the exhibition you performed in his presence this afternoon, I might say it would be wise to refuse him: since he asked you after that, he must either be hopelessly stupid or a venturesome fool.”

19. “If you talk so, I won’t tell you any more,” she returned peevishly, rising to her feet. “I accepted him, Nelly. Be quick, and say whether I was wrong!”

20. “You accepted him! then, what good is it discussing the matter? You have pledged your word, and cannot retract.”

21. “But, say whether I should have done so—do!” she exclaimed in an irritated tone, chafing her hands together, and frowning.

22. “There are many things to be considered before that question can be answered properly,” I said sententiously. “First and foremost, do you love Mr Edgar?”

23. “Who can help it? Of course I do,” she answered.

24. Then I put her through the following catechism: for a girl of twenty-two it was not injudicious.

25. “Why do you love him, Miss Cathy?”

26. “Nonsense, I do—that’s sufficient.”

27. “By no means; you must say why.”

28. “Well, because he is handsome, and pleasant to be with.”

29. “Bad,” was my commentary.

30. “And because he is young and cheerful.”

31. “Bad, still.”

32. “And because he loves me.”

33. “Indifferent, coming there.4”

34. “And he will be rich, and I shall like to be the greatest woman of the neighbourhood, and I shall be proud of having such a husband.”

35. “Worst of all! And now, say how you love him.”

36. “As everybody loves—You’re silly, Nelly.”

37. “Not at all—Answer.”

38. “I love the ground under his feet, and the air over his head, and everything he touches, and every word he says. I love all his looks, and all his actions, and him entirely and altogether. There now!”

39. “And why?”

40. “Nay—you are making a jest of it; it is exceedingly ill-natured! It’s no jest to me!” said the young lady, scowling, and turning her face to the fire.

41. “I’m very far from jesting, Miss Catherine,” I replied. “You love Mr Edgar because he is handsome, and young, and cheerful, and rich, and loves you. The last, however, goes for nothing. you would love him without that, probably; and with it, you wouldn’t, unless he possessed the four former attractions.”

42. “No, to be sure not: I should only pity him—hate him, perhaps, if he were ugly, and a clown.”

43. “But there are several other handsome, rich young men in the world; handsomer, possibly, and richer than he is. What should hinder you from loving them?”

44. “If there be any, they are out of my way. I’ve seen none like Edgar.”

45. “You may see some; and he won’t always be handsome, and young, and may not always be rich.”

46. “He is now; and I have only to do with the present. I wish you would speak rationally.”

47. “Well, that settles it—if you have only to do with the present, marry Mr Linton.”

48. “I don’t want your permission for that—I shall marry him; and yet you have not told me whether I’m right.”

49. ‘Perfectly right; if people be right to marry only for the present. And now, let us hear what you are unhappy about. Your brother will be pleased; the old lady and gentleman will not object, I think; you will escape from a disorderly, comfortless home into a wealthy, respectable one; and you love Edgar, and Edgar loves you. All seems smooth and easy—where is the obstacle?”

50. “Here! and here!” replied Catherine, striking one hand on her forehead, and the other on her breast. “in whichever place the soul lives—in my soul, and in my heart, I’m convinced I’m wrong!”

51. “That’s very strange! I cannot make it out.”

52. “It's my secret; But if you will not mock at me, I’ll explain it; I can’t do it distinctly, but I’ll give you a feeling of how I feel.”

53. She seated herself by me again: her countenance grew sadder and graver, and her clasped hands trembled.

54. “Nelly, do you never dream queer dreams?” she said, suddenly, after some minutes’ reflection.

55. “Yes, now and then,” I answered.

56. “And so do I. I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind. And this is one—I’m going to tell it—but take care not to smile at any part of it.”

57. “Oh! Don’t, Miss Catherine!” I cried. “We’re dismal enough without conjuring up ghosts and visions to perplex us. Come, come, be merry and like yourself! Look at little Hareton—he's dreaming nothing dreary. How sweetly he smiles in his sleep!”

58. “Yes; and how sweetly his father curses in his solitude! You remember him, I dare say, when he5 was just such another as that chubby thing6—nearly as young and innocent. However, Nelly, I shall oblige you to listen—it’s not long; and I’ve no power to be merry to-night.”

59. “I won’t hear it, I won’t hear it!” I repeated hastily.

60. I was superstitious about dreams then, and am still; and Catherine had an unusual gloom in her aspect, that made me dread something from which I might shape a prophecy, and foresee a fearful catastrophe.

61. She was vexed, but she did not proceed. Apparently taking up another subject, she recommenced in a short time.

62. “If I were in heaven, Nelly, I should be extremely miserable.”

63. “Because you are not fit to go there,” I answered. “All sinners would be miserable in heaven.”

64. “But it is not for that. I dreamt, once, that I was there.”

65. “I tell you I won’t hearken to your dreams, Miss Catherine! I’ll go to bed,” I interrupted again.

66. She laughed, and held me down; for I made a motion to leave my chair.

67. “This is nothing,” cried she: “I was only going to say that heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy. That will do to explain my secret, as well as the other. I’ve no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there7 had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn’t have thought of it.8 It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome, Nelly, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton’s is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire”

68. Ere this speech ended, I became sensible of Heathcliff’s presence. Having noticed a slight movement, I turned my head, and saw him rise from the bench, and steal out noiselessly. He had listened till he heard Catherine say it would degrade her to marry him, and then he stayed to hear no further. My companion, sitting on the ground, was prevented by the back of the settle from remarking his presence or departure; but I started, and bade her hush!

69. “Why?” she asked, gazing nervously round.

70. “Joseph is here,” I answered, catching, opportunely, the roll of his cartwheels up the road; “and Heathcliff will come in with him. I’m not sure whether he were not at the door this moment.”

71. “Oh, he couldn’t overhear me at the door!” said she. “Give me Hareton, while you get the supper, and when it is ready ask me to sup with you. I want to cheat my uncomfortable conscience, and be convinced that Heathcliff has no notion of these things. He has not, has he? He does not know what being in love is?”

72. “I see no reason that he should not know, as well as you,” I returned; “and if you are his choice, he will be the most unfortunate creature that ever was born! As soon as you become Mrs Linton, he loses friend, and love, and all! Have you considered how you’ll bear the separation, and how he’ll bear to be deserted in the world? Because, Miss Catherine—”

73. “He quite deserted! we separated!” she exclaimed, with an accent of indignation. “Who is to separate us, pray? They’ll meet the fate of Milo!9 Not as long as I live, Ellen—for no mortal creature. Every Linton on the face of the earth might melt into nothing, before I could consent to forsake Heathcliff. Oh, that’s not what I intend—that’s not what I mean! I shouldn’t be Mrs Linton were such a price demanded! He’ll be as much to me as he has been all his lifetime. Edgar must shake off his antipathy, and tolerate him, at least. He will, when he learns my true feelings towards him. Nelly, I see now, you think me a selfish wretch, but did it never strike you that if Heathcliff and I married, we should be beggars? whereas, if I marry Linton, I can aid Heathcliff to rise, and place him out of my brother’s power.”

74. “With your husband’s money, Miss Catherine?” I asked. “You’ll find him not so pliable as you calculate upon: and, though I’m hardly a judge, I think that’s the worst motive you’ve given yet for being the wife of young Linton.”

75. “It is not,” retorted she, “it is the best! The others were the satisfaction of my whims; and for Edgar’s sake, too, to satisfy him. This is for the sake of one who comprehends in his person my feelings to Edgar and myself. I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is, or should be, an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff’s miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning; my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the Universe would turn to a mighty stranger. I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath—a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff—he’s always, always in my mind—not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself— but as my own being—So don’t talk of our separation again—it is impracticable; and—”

76. She paused, and hid her face in the folds of my gown; but I jerked it forcibly away. I was out of patience with her folly!

Glossary

annihilate /ə'naɪɪleɪt/ v. to destroy something or someone completely 毁灭，消灭

antipathy /æn'tɪpəθɪ/ n. a feeling of strong dislike towards someone or something 厌恶，反感

asunder /ə'sʌndə/ adv. to be torn violent apart or destroyed 被扯裂，被撕裂

bade /beɪd/ v. the past tense of bid 命令，吩咐

bench /bentʃ/ n. a long seat for two or more people, especially outdoors （尤指户外的）长凳，长椅

catastrophe /kə'tæstrəfɪ/ n. a terrible event in which there is a lot of destruction, suffering,or death 灾难，大祸，严重的不幸

chubby /'tʃʌbɪ/ adj. slightly fat in a way that looks healthy and attractive 胖嘟嘟的

clasp /klɑ:sp/ v. to hold someone or something tightly,closing your fingers or arms around them 握紧，抱紧，抓住

conjure /'kʌndʒə/ v. conjure sth up; to bring a thought, picture, idea, or memory to someone’s mind 使浮现于脑海，使想起

content /kən'tent/ adj. happy and satisfied 满意的，满足的

contradict /kɑntrə'dɪkt/ v. to disagree with something, especially by saying that the opposite is true 反驳，驳斥

countenance /'kaʊntənəns/ n. your face or your expression 面容，面部表情

dismal /'dɪzməl/ adj. (of a person or their mood) gloomy（人，情绪）阴郁的

ere /eə/ prep. before 在……之前（旧或文）

foliage /'fəʊlɪdʒ/ n. the leaves of a plant （植物的）叶子

harken /'hɑ:kən/ v. to listen 倾听

hearth /hɑ:θ/ n. the area of floor around a fireplace in a house 壁炉周围的地面

heath /hi:θ/ n. an area of open uncultivated land, typically on acid sandy soil, with characteristic vegetation of heather, gorse, and coarse grasses 石楠荒原

hinder /'hɪndə/ v. to make it difficult for something to develop or succeed 阻碍，妨碍

hubbub /'hʌbʌb/ n. a mixture of loud noises, especially the noise of a lot of people talking at the same time（人群的）喧闹声，嘈杂声

indignation /ɪndɪg'neɪʃən/ n. feelings of anger and surprise because you feel insulted or unfairly treated 愤慨，义愤，愤怒

indulge /ɪn'dʌldʒ/ v. to let yourself do or have something that you enjoy, especially something that is considered bad for you（使自己）沉溺（于）

jest /dʒest/ n. something you say that is intended to be funny, not serious 玩笑，笑话

lull /lʌl/ v. to make someone feel calm or as if they want to sleep 使平静下来；使昏昏欲睡

novelty /nɑvlti/ n. something new and unusual which attracts people’s attention and interest 新奇的事物

opportunely /ɔpə'tju:nli/ adv. 及时地；恰好地

peevishly /'pi:viʃli/ adv. 急躁地，暴躁地

perplex /pə'pleks/ v. if something perplexes you, it makes you feel confused and worried because it is difficult to understand 使困惑，使茫然

pledge /pledʒ/ v. to make a formal, usually public, promise that you will do something 发誓，许诺

pliable /'plaɪəbəl/ adj. easily influenced and controlled by other people 易受影响的，顺从的

prophecy /'prɑfəsi/ n. a statement that something will happen in the future, especially one made by someone with religious or magic powers 预言

queer /kwɪə/ adj. strange or difficult to explain 奇怪的，难以解释的

recommence /ˏrikə'mɛns/ v. to begin something again after it has stopped 重新开始

retort /rɪ'tɔ:t/ v. to reply quickly 反驳，回嘴

retract /rɪ'trækt/ v. if you retract something that you said or agreed, you say that you did not mean it 收回，撤回（已说的话或已答应的事）

sententiously /sen'tenʃəsli/ adv. 简洁地

sup /sʌp/ v. to eat supper old-fashioned 吃完饭 （过时）

venturesome /'venʧəsəm/ adj. willing to take risks 大胆的，爱冒险的

vexed /'vekst/ adj. annoyed or worried 恼火的，焦虑的

whim /wɪm/ n. a sudden feeling that you would like to do or have something, especially when there is no important or good reason 突发的念头

winsome /'wɪnsəm/ adj. behaving in a pleasant and attractive way 迷人的，令人喜欢的

wretch /reʧ/ n. someone that you feel sorry for 可怜的人