1. Charles Lamb, as merry and enterprising a fellow as you will meet in a month of Sundays, unfettered the informal essay with his memorable Old China and Dream's Children. There follows an informal essay that ventures even beyond Lamb's frontier. Indeed, “informal” may not be quite the right word to describe this essay; “limp” or “flaccid" or possibly “spongy” are perhaps more appropriate.

2. Vague though its category, it is without doubt an essay. It develops an argument; it cites instances; it reaches a conclusion. Could Carlyle do more? Could Ruskin?

3. Read, then, the following essay which undertakes to demonstrate that logic, far from being a dry, pedantic discipline, is a living, breathing thing, full of beauty, passion, and trauma.

—Author’s note

4. Cool was I and logical. Keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute and astute-I was all of these. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, as precise as a chemists scales, as penetrating as a scalpel. And-think of it!—Iwas only eighteen.

5. It is not often that one so young has such a giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Bellows, my roommate at the university. Same age, same background, but dumb as an ox. A nice enough fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs. Emotional type. Unstable. Impressionable. Worst of all, a faddist. Fads, I submit, are the very negation of reason. To be swept up in every new craze that comes along, to surrender oneself to idiocy just because everybody else is doing it-this, to me, is the acme of mindlessness. Not, however, to Petey.

6. One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis. “Don’t move,” I said, “Don’t take a laxative. I’ll get a doctor.”

7. “Raccoon,” he mumbled thickly.

8. “Raccoon?” I said, pausing in my flight.

9. “I want a raccoon coat,” he wailed.

10. I perceived that his trouble was not physical, but mental. “Why do you want a raccoon coat?”

11. “I should have known it,” he cried, pounding his temples. “I should have known they’d come back when the Charleston came back. Like a fool I spent all my money for textbooks, and now I can’t get a raccoon coat.”

12. “Can you mean,” I said incredulously, “that people are actually wearing raccoon coats again?”

13. “All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them. Where’ve you been?”

14. “In the library,” I said, naming a place not frequented by Big Men on Campus.

15. He leaped from the bed and paced the room. “I’ve got to have a raccoon coat,” he said passionately. “I’ve got to!”

16. “Petey, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon coats are unsanitary. They shed. They smell bad. They weigh too much. They’re unsightly. They-”

17. “You don’t understand,” he interrupted impatiently. “It’s the thing to do. Don’t you want to be in the swim?”

18. “No,” I said truthfully.

19. “Well, I do,” he declared. “I’d give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”

20. My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear. “Anything?” I asked, looking at him narrowly.

21. “Anything,” he affirmed in ringing tones.

22. I stroked my chin thoughtfully. It so happened that I knew where to get my hands on a raccoon coat. My father had had one in his undergraduate days; it lay now in a trunk in the attic back home. It also happened that Petey had something I wanted. He didn’t have it exactly, but at least he had first rights on it. I refer to his girl, Polly Espy.

23. I had long coveted Polly Espy. Let me emphasize that my desire for this young woman was not emotional in nature. She was, to be sure, a girl who excited the emotions, but I was not one to let my heart rule my head. I wanted Polly for a shrewdly calculated, entirely cerebral reason.

24. I was a freshman in law school. In a few years I would be out in practice. I was well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife in furthering a lawyer’s career. The successful lawyers I had observed were, almost without exception, married to beautiful, gracious, intelligent women. With one omission, Polly fitted these specifications perfectly.

25. Beautiful she was. She was not yet ofpin-upproportions, but I felt sure that time would supply the lack. She already had the makings.

26. Gracious she was. By gracious I mean full of graces. She had an erectness of carriage, an ease of bearing, a poise that clearly indicated the best of breeding, At table her manners were exquisite. I had seen her at the Kozy Kampus Korner eating the specialty of the house-a sandwich that contained scraps of pot roast, gravy, chopped nuts, and a dipper of sauerkraut--without even getting her fingers moist.

27. Intelligent she was not. In fact, she veered in the opposite direction. But I believed that under my guidance she would smarten up. At any rate, it was worth a try. It is, after all, easier to make a beautiful dumb girl smart than to make an ugly smart girl beautiful.

28. “Petey,” I said, “are you in love with Polly Espy?”

29. “I think she’s a keen kid,” he replied, “but I don’t know if you’d call it love. Why?”

30. “Do you,” I asked, “have any kind of formal arrangement with her? I mean are you going steady or anything like that?”

31. “No. We see each other quite a bit, but we both have other dates. Why?”

32. “Is there,” I asked, “any other man for whom she has a particular fondness?”

33. “Not that I know of. Why?”

34. I nodded with satisfaction. “In other words, if you were out of the picture, the field would be open. Is that right?”

35. “I guess so. What are you getting at?”

36. “Nothing, nothing,” I said innocently, and took my suitcase out of the closet.

37. “Where are you going?”asked Petey.

38. “Home for the weekend.”I threw a few things into the bag.

39. “Listen,” he said, clutching my arm eagerly, “while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money from your old man, could you, and lend it to me so I can buy a raccoon coat?”

40. “I may do better than that,” I said with a mysterious wink and closed my bag and left.

41. “Look,” I said to Petey when I got back Monday morning. I threw open the suitcase and revealed the huge, hairy, gamy object that my father had worn in his Stutz Bearcat in 1925.

42. “Holy Toledo!” said Petey reverently. He plunged his hands into the raccoon coat and then his face. “Holy Toledo!”he repeated fifteen or twenty times.

43. “Would you like it?”I asked.

44. “Oh yes!”he cried, clutching the greasy pelt to him. Then a canny look came into his eyes. “What do you want for it?”

45. “Your girl,” I said, mincing no words.

46. “Polly?”he said in a horrified whisper. “You want Polly?”

47. “That’s right.”

48. He flung the coat from him. “Never,” he said stoutly.

49. I shrugged. “Okay. If you don’t want to be in the swim, I guess it’s your business.”

50. I sat down in a chair and pretended to read a book, but out of the corner of my eye I kept watching Petey. He was a torn man. First he looked at the coat with the expression of a waif at a bakery window. Then he turned away and set his jaw resolutely. Then he looked back at the coat, with even more longing in his face. Then he turned away, but with not so much resolution this time. Back and forth his head swiveled, desire waxing, resolution waning. Finally he didn’t turn away at all; he just stood and stared with mad lust at the coat.

51. “It isn’t as though I was in love with Polly,” he said thickly. “Or going steady or anything like that.”

52. “That’s right,” I murmured.

53. “What's Polly to me,or me to Polly?”

54. “Not a thing,” said I.

55. “It’s just been acasual kick-just a few laughs, that's all.”

56. “Try on the coat,” said I.

57. He complied. The coat bunched high over his ears and dropped all the way down to his shoe tops. He looked like a mound of dead raccoons. “Fits fine,” he said happily.

58. I rose from my chair. “Is it a deal?” I asked, extending my hand.

59. He swallowed. “It’s a deal,” he said and shook my hand.

60. I had my first date with Polly the following evening. This was in the nature of a survey; I wanted to find out just how much work I had to do to get her mind up to the standard I required. I took her first to dinner. “Gee, that was a delish dinner,” she said as we left the restaurant. Then I took her to a movie. “Gee, that was a marvy movie,”she said as we left the theater. And then I took her home. “Gee, I had a sensaysh time,” she said as she bade me good night.

61. I went back to my room with a heavy heart. I had gravely underestimated the size of my task. This girl’s lack of information was terrifying. Nor would it be enough merely to supply her with information First she had to be taught to think. Thisloomedas a project of no small dimensions, and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey. But then I got to thinking about her abundant physical charms and about the way she entered a room and the way she handled a knife and fork, and I decided to make an effort.

62. I went about it, as in all things, systematically. I gave her a course in logic. It happened that I, as a law student, was taking a course in logic myself, so I had all the facts at my finger tips. “Polly,”I said to her when I picked her up on our next date, “tonight we are going over to theKnolland talk.”

63. “Oo, terrif,”she replied. One thing I will say for this girl: you would go far to find another so agreeable.

64. We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting place, and we sat down under an old oak, and she looked at me expectantly. “What are we going to talk about?”she asked.

65. “Logic.”

66. She thought this over for a minute and decided she liked it. “Magnif," she said.

67. “Logic,” I said, clearing my throat, “is the science of thinking. Before we can think correctly, we must first learn to recognize the common fallacies of logic. These we will take up tonight.”

68. “Wow-dow!”she cried, clapping her hands delightedly.

69. I winced, but went bravely on. “First let us examine the fallacy called Dicto Slmpliciter.”

70. “By all means,” she urged, batting her lashes eagerly.

71. “Dicto Simpliciter means an argument based on an unqualified generalization. For example: Exercise is good. Therefore everybody should exercise.”

72. “I agree,” said Polly earnestly. “I mean exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the body and everything.

73. “Polly,”I said gently, “the argument is a fallacy. Exercise is good is an unqualified generalization. For instance, if you have heart disease, exercise is bad, not good. Many people are ordered by their doctors not to exercise. You must qualify the generalization. You must say exercise is usually good, or exercise is good for most people. Otherwise you have committed a Dicto Simplioiter. Do you see?”

74. “No,” she confessed. “But this is marvy. Do more! Do more!”

75. “It will be better if you stop tugging at my sleeve,” I told her, and when she desisted, I continued: “Next we take up a fallacy called Hasty Generalization. Listen carefully: You can’t speak French. I can’t speak French. Petey Burch can’t speak French. I must therefore conclude that nobody at the University of Minnesota can speak French.”

76. “Really?”said Polly, amazed. “Nobody?”

77. I hid my exasperation. “Polly, it’s a fallacy. The generalization is reached too hastily. There are too few instances to support such a conclusion.”

78. “Know any more fallacies?” she asked breathlessly. “This is more fun than dancing even.”

79. I fought off a wave of despair. I was getting nowhere with this girl absolutely nowhere. Still, I am nothing if not persistent. I continued.

80. “Next comes Post Hoc. Listen to this: Let’s not take Bill on our picnic. Every time we take him out with us, it rains.”

81. “I know somebody like that,” she exclaimed. “A girl back home-Eula Becker, her name is, it never falls. Every single time we take her on a picnic- ”

82. “Polly,” I said sharply, “it’s a fallacy. Eula Becker doesn’t cause the rain. She has no connection with the rain. You are guilty of Post Hoc if you blame Eula Becker.”

83. “I’ll never do that again,” she promised contritely. “Are you mad at me?”

84. I sighed deeply. “No, Polly, I’m not mad.”

85. “Then tell me some more fallacies.”

86. “All right. Let’s try Contradictory Premises.”

87. “Yes, let’s,” she chirped, blinking her eyes happily.

88. I frowned, but plunged ahead. “Here’s an example of Contradictory Premises: If God can do anything, can He make a stone so heavy that He won’t be able to lift it?”

89. “Of course,” she replied promptly.

90. “But if He can do anything, He can lift the stone,” I pointed out.

91. “Yeah,” she said thoughtfully. “Well, then I guess He can’t make the stone.”

92. “But He can do anything,” I reminded her.

93. She scratched her pretty, empty head. “I’m all confused,” she admitted.

94. “Of course you are. Because when the premises of an argument contradict each other, there can be no argument. If there is an irresistible force, there can be no immovable object. If there is an immovable object, there can be no irresistible force. Get it?”

95. “Tell me some more of this keen stuff,” she said eagerly.

96. I consulted my watch. “I think we’d better call it a night. I’ll take you home now, and you go over all the things you’ve learned. We'll have another session tomorrow night.”

97. I deposited her at the girls’ dormitory, where she assured me that she had had a perfectly terrif evening, and I went glumly to my room. Petey lay snoring in his bed, the raccoon coat huddled like a great hairy beast at his feet. For a moment I considered waking him and telling him that he could have his girl back. It seemed clear that my project was doomed to failure. The girl simply had a logic-proof head.

98. But then I reconsidered. I had wasted one evening: I might as well waste another. Who knew? Maybe somewhere in the extinct crater of her mind, a few embers still smoldered. Maybe somehow I could fan them into flame. Admittedly it was not a prospect fraught with hope, but I decided to give it one more try.

99. Seated under the oak the next evening I said, “Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad Misericordiam.”

100. She quivered with delight.

101. “Listen closely,” I said. “A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife and six children at home, the wife is a helpless cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and winter is coming.”

102. A tear rolled down each of Polly’s pink cheeks. “Oh, this is awful, awful,” she sobbed.

103. “Yes, it’s awful,” I agreed, “but it’s no argument. The man never answered the boss’s questions about his qualifications. Instead he appealed to the boss’s sympathy. He committed the fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?”

104. “Have you got a handkerchief?” she blubbered.

105. I handed her a handkerchief and tried to keep from screaming while she wiped her eyes. “Next,” I said in a carefully controlled tone, “we will discuss False Analogy. Here is an example: Students should be allowed to look at their textbooks during examinations. After all, surgeons have X-rays to guide them during an operation, lawyers have briefs to guide them during a trial, carpenters have blueprints to guide them when they are building a house. Why, then, shouldn’t students be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination?”

106. “There now,” she said enthusiastically, “is the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years.”

107. “Polly,” I said testily, “the argument is all wrong. Doctors, lawyers, and carpenters aren’t taking a test to see how much they have learned, but students are. The situations are altogether different, and you can’t make an analogy between them.”

108. “1 still think it’s a good idea,” said Polly.

109. “Nuts,” I muttered. Doggedly I pressed on. “Next we’ll try Hypothesis Contrary to Fact.”

110. “Sounds yummy,” was Polly’s reaction.

111. “Listen: If Madame Curie had not happened to leave a photographic plate in a drawer with a chunk of pitchblende, the world today would not know about radium.”

112. “True, true,” said Polly, nodding her head. “Did you see the movie? Oh, it just knocked me out. That Walter Pidgeon is so dreamy. I mean he fractures me.”

113. “If you can forget Mr. Pidgeon for a moment,” I said coldly, “I would like to point out that the statement is a fallacy. Maybe Madame Curie would have discovered radium at some later date. Maybe somebody else would have discovered it. Maybe any number of things would have happened. You can’t start with a hypothesis that is not true and then draw any supportable conclusions from it.”

114. “They ought to put Walter Pidgeon in more pictures,” said Polly. “I hardly ever see him any more.”

115. One more chance, I decided. But just one more. There is a limit to what flesh and blood can bear. “The next fallacy is called Poisoning the Well.”

116. “How cute!”she gurgled.

117. “Two men are having a debate. The first one gets up and says, ‘My opponent is a notorious liar. You can’t believe a word that he is going to say. ’... Now, Polly, think. Think hard. What’s wrong?”

118. I watched her closely as she knit her creamy brow in concentration. Suddenly, a g1immer of intelligence—thefirst I had seen—came into her eyes. “It’s not fair,”she said with indignation. “It’s not a bit fair. What chance has the second man got if the first man calls him a liar before he even begins talking?”

119. “Right!”I cried exultantly. “One hundred percent right. It’s not fair. The first man has poisoned the well before anybody could drink from it. He hashamstrunghis opponent before he could even start. … Polly, I’m proud of you.”

120. “Pshaw”she murmured, blushing with pleasure.

121. “You see, my dear, these things aren’t so hard All you have to do is concentrate. Think-examine-evaluate. Come now, let’s review everything we have learned.”

122. “Fire away,”she said with an airy wave of her hand.

123. Heartened by the knowledge that Polly was not altogether acretin, I began a long, patient review of all I had told her. Over and over and over again I cited instances pointed out flaws, kept hammering away withoutlet-up. It was like digging a tunnel. At first everything was work, sweat, and darkness. I had no idea when I would reach the light, or even if I would. But I persisted. I pounded and clawed andscraped, and finally I was rewarded. I saw a chink of light. And then the chink got bigger and the sun came pouring in and all was bright.

124. Five grueling nights this took, but it was worth it. I had made a logician out of Polly; I had taught her to think. My job was done. She was worthy of me at last. She was a fit wife for me, a proper hostess for my many mansions, a suitable mother for my well-heeled children.

125. It must not be thought that I was without love for this girl. Quite the contrary, Just asPygmalionloved the perfect woman he had fashioned, so I loved mine. I determined to acquaint her with my feeling at our very next meeting. The time had come to change our relationship from academic to romantic.

126. “Polly,” I said when next we sat beneath our oak, “tonight we will not discuss fallacies.”

127. “Aw, gee,”she said, disappointed.

128. “My dear,” I said, favoring her with a smile, “we have now spent five evenings together. We have gotten along splendidly. It is clear that we are well matched.”

129. “Hasty Generalization,” said Polly brightly.

130. “I beg your pardon,” said I.

131. “Hasty Generalization,” she repeated. “How can you say that we are well matched on the basis of only five dates?”

132. I chuckled with amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons well. “My dear,” I said, patting her hand in a tolerant manner, “five dates is plenty. After all, you don’t have to eat a whole cake to know it’s good.”

133. “False Analogy”, said Polly promptly. “I’m not a cake. I’m a girl.”

134. I chuckled with somewhat less amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons perhaps too well. I decided to changetactics. Obviously the best approach was a simple, strong, direct declaration of love. I paused for a moment while my massive brain chose the proper words. Then I began:

135. “Polly, I love you. You are the whole world to me, and the moon and the stars and theconstellationsof outer space. Please, my darling, say that you will go steady with me, for if you will not, life will be meaningless. I will languish. I will refuse my meals. I will wander the face of the earth, a shambling hollow-eyed hulk.”

136. There, I thought, folding my arms, that ought to do it.

137. “Ad Misericordiam,” Said Polly.

138. I ground my teeth. I was not Pygmalion; I wasFrankenstein, and my monster had me by the throat. Frantically I fought back the tide of panic surging through me. At all costs I had to keep cool.

139. “Well, Polly,” I said, forcing a smile, “you certainly have learned your fallacies.”

140. “You’re darn right,” she said with a vigorous nod.

141. “And who taught them to you, Polly?”

142. “You did.”

143. “That’s right. So you do owe me something, don’t you, my dear? If I hadn’t come along you never would have learned about fallacies.”

144. “Hypothesis Contrary to Fact,” she said instantly.

145. I dashed perspiration from my brow. “Polly,” Icroaked, “you mustn’t take all these things so literally. I mean this is just classroom stuff. You know that the things you learn in school don't have anything to do with life.”

146. “Dicto Simpliciter,”she said, wagging her finger at me playfully.

147. That did it. I leaped to my feet, bellowing like a bull. “Will you or will you not go steady with me?”

148. “I will not,”she replied.

149. “Why not?” I demanded.

150. “Because this afternoon I promised Petey Burch that I would go steady with him.”

151. I reeled back, overcome with the infamy of it. After he promised, after he made a deal, after he shook my hand! “The rat!”I shrieked, kicking up great chunks ofturf. “You can’t go with him, Polly. He’s a liar. He’s a cheat. He’s a rat.”

152. “Poisoning the Well,”said Polly, “and stop shouting. I think shouting must be a fallacy too.”

153. With an immense effort of will, I modulated my voice. “All right,” I said. “You’re a logician. Let’s look at this thing logically. How could you choose Petey Burch over me? Look at me-a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an assured future. Look at Petey-aknothead, ajitterbug, a guy who’ll never know where his next meal is coming from. Can you give me one logical reason why you should go stead with Petey Burch?”

154. “I certainly can,” declared Polly. “He’s got a raccoon coat.”

Words and Expressions from the Text

1. to unfetter: to free from restraint of any kind; to liberate

2. pedantic: of a person who puts unnecessary stress on minor or trivial points of learning, displaying a scholarship lacking in judgment or sense of proportion

3. perspicacious: having keen judgment or understanding; acutely perspective

4. scalpel: 解剖刀

5. acme: the highest point; point of culmination; peak

6. appendicitis: 阑尾炎，盲肠炎

7. laxative: 轻泻剂；通便剂

8. raccoon: 浣熊；浣熊皮毛

9. to covet: to want ardently(esp., something that another person has); to long for with envy

10. cerebral: of, appealing to, or conceived by the intellect rather than the emotions; intellectual

11. pot roast: meat, usually a large cut of beef, cooked in one piece by braising

12. sauerkraut: 德国泡菜的一种

13. canny: careful and shrewd in one’s actions and dealings; clever and cautious

14. stout: courageous; brave; undaunted

15. waif: a person without home or friends; esp., a homeless child

16. tryst: an appointment to meet at a specified time and place, esp. one made secretly by lovers

17. to wince: to shrink or draw back slightly, usually with a grimace, as in pain, embarrassment, alarm, etc.

18. to desist: to cease (from an action); to stop; to abstain

19. contrite: feeling remorseful for having done wrong: repentant

20. ember: a glowing piece of coal, wood, etc, from a fire; esp., such a piece smolderingamong ashes

21. to smolder: to burn and smoke without flame: to be consumed by slow combustion

22. pitchblende:沥青油矿

23. to fracture: (American slang) to evoke a strong reaction in someone: to cause to react withenthusiasm

24. exultant: rejoicing greatly: triumphant; jubilant

25. to hamstring: to lessen or destroy the power or effectiveness of

26. cretin: a person suffering from cretinism(白痴病); a very stupid or foolish person

27. chink: a narrow opening: crack; fissure; slit

28. hulk: a big, clumsy person or thing

29. darn:(American colloquialism) euphemism for “damn”

30. perspiration; sweating

31. to reel: to lurch or stagger about, as from drunkenness or dizziness

32. turf草根土,草皮

33. jitterbug: (Slang) a jittery, emotionally unstable person

Notes on the Background

1. Max Shulman (1919-1988): one of America’s best-known humorists. Max Shulman is awriter of many talents-he has written novels, stories, Broadway plays, movie scenarios, andtelevision scripts. The present text is taken from The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis(1951). Dobie Gillis, the narrator, is a typical American teen who frequently suffers from romanticangst. The character appeared on a popular television sitcom during the 1950s and was in afeature film in 1953.

2. Charles Lamb(1775-1834): English essayist. He, in collaboration with his sister Mary,published Tales from Shakespeare in 1867. His dramatic essays, Specimens of EnglishDramatic Poets (1808), established his reputation as a critic and did much in reviving thepopularity of Elizabethen drama. Old China and Dream’s Children are from his collection theEssays of Elia(1823-1833).

3. Carlyle: Thomas Carlyle(1795-1881), English author, is considered as one of the mostimportant social critics of his day. Carlyle’sstyle, called “Carlylese”, is a compound ofbiblical phrases, colloquialisms, Teutonic twists, and his own coinings, arranged inunexpected sequences.

4. Ruskin: John Ruskin(1819-1900), English critic and social theorist. He put forward the“universal language”. Later Ruskin’s art criticism became more broadly social and political. Inhis works he attacked bourgeois England and charged that modern art reflected the ugliness and waste of modern industry. He also advocated social reform.

5. Charleston: a lively dance in 4/4 time, characterized by a twisting step and popular during the 1920s.

6. Stutz Bearcat: a roadster first produced in the 1910s by the Stutz Motor Car Company.

7. Holy Toledo: an interjectional compound (like holy cow! holy smoke!)to express astonish, emphasis, etc.

8. What’s Polly to me, or me to Polly?: perhaps a parody of “what’s Hecuba to him or he toHecuba that he should weep for her?”from Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2.

9. Dicto Simpliciter: clipped form of a dicto simpliciter ad dictum secundum quid, a Latinphrase meaning“from a saying (taken too) simply to a saying according to what (it realis); i.e. according to its truth as holding under special provisos.

10. Post Hoc: clipped form of post hoc, ergo propter hoc, a Latinphrase meaning“after this,therefore because of this”; a fallacy in logic of thinking that a happening which follows anothermust be its result.

11. Ad Misericordiam: a Latin phrase meaning“to pity”; a fallacy in logic of appealing to pityor compassion. In this fallacy, the reader, or listener, is told to agree to the propositionbecause of the pitiful state of the arguer.

12. Walter Pidgeon (1897-1984): a Hollywood movie star, born in Canada, Pidgeon has beenin lead and supporting film parts from the late 1920s, most typically in intelligent, gentlemanlyroles.Among dozens of his films are Advise and Consent(1962), Madame Curie(1943)andHow Green Was My Valley(1941).

13. Pygmalion: (Greek mythology)a king of Cyprus, and a sculptor, who fell in love with hisown statue of Galatea, later brought to life by the goddess of love, Aphrodite, at his prayer. Based on this classical myth, Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion plays on the complex business ofhuman relationships in a social world. Phonetics Professor Henry Higgins tutors the veryCockney Eliza Doolittle, not only in the refinement of speech, but also in the refinement of hermanner. When the end result produces a veryladylike Miss Doolittle, the lessons learnedbecome much more far reaching.

14. Frankenstein: the title character in a novel (1818) by Mary Shelley. Frankenstein is a youngmedical student who creates a monster that destroys him. Now the word often refers to anagency or a creation that slips from the control of and ultimately destroys its creator.

Notes on the Text

1. Charles Lamb, as merry and enterprising a fellow as you will meet in a month of Sundays, unfettered the informal essay with his memorable Old China and Dream's Children.

(1)Charles Lamb is the kind of merry and enterprising person you rarely encounter. He wrote the essays, Old China and Dream’s Children, which set free the informal essay.

(2)像查尔斯·兰姆这样快乐和富有创新精神的人物并不常见，他写了《古瓷》和《梦中的孩子》两篇文章,这两篇文章可以说解放了散文。

(3) Charles Lamb, see Note 2

(4)month of Sundays:(colloquial)a long time

2. There follows an informal essay that ventures even beyond Lambs frontier.

(1) Metaphor, comparing the limitation set by Lamb to a frontier.

(2) Here's an informal essay which is even freer than the ones Lamb wrote.

3. Indeed,“informal” may not be quite the right word to describe this essay;“limp”or“flaccid” or possibly “spongy” are perhaps more appropriate.

(1)limp: drooping; lacking firmness

(2) flaccid: soft, flabby, hanging in loose folds

(3)spongy: like a sponge, soft and porous

(4)The author is being humorous with his self-mocking tone. This essay of his, of course,is anything but“limp”,“flaccid”and“spongy”.

4. Vague though its category, it is without doubt an essay.

(1) Inversion is used for emphasis.

(2)Although it is difficult to say which category it belongs to, it is undoubtedly an essay.

5. Could Carlyle do more? Could Ruskin?

(1) These are rhetorical questions used foremphasis.

(2)Carlyle: See Note 3.

(3) Ruskin: See Note 4

6. Read, then, the following essay which undertakes to demonstrate that logic, far from being a dry, pedantic discipline, is a living, breathing thing, full of beauty, passion, and trauma.

(1)The sentence contains a metaphor, which compares logic to a living human being.

(2)那么,就读读下面这篇文章吧,它将向我们展示逻辑并不是一门枯燥乏味、迁腐不堪的学科；恰恰相反，逻辑是一个活生生的事物，充满美丽、激情和心灵的创伤。

(3) far from: not at all

(4) discipline: a branch of knowledge or learning

(5)trauma: a term in psychiatry meaning a painful emotional experience or shock, often producing a lasting psychic effect

7. How did the narrator describe himself? What does it show? How does the author bring out the pomposity of the narrator? What makes the satire humorous?

The writer is satirizing a smug, self-conceited freshman in a law school, who keeps boasting at every opportunity. He heaps upon himself all the beautiful words of praise he can thinkof-cool, logical, keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute, astute, powerful, precise andpenetrating. This exaggerated self-praise and the profuse use of similes and metaphors helpto make the satire humorous.

8. Cool was I and logical.

Inversion to emphasize “cool”.

9. Keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute and astute- I was all of these.

(1) Notice the use of the dash, which emphasizes the adjectives before it. Ordinarily one would say “I was also keen…and astute.”

(2) Keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute and astute all refer to unusual mental agility or perceptiveness. Keen suggests both these attributes, adding to them a vigorous and forceful ability to grapple with complex or obscure problems, e.g. a keen mind for distinctions. Sometimes by analogy with good vision, the word may suggest an ability to observe details and see them as part of a larger pattern, e. g. a keen understanding of the problems facing the conservation movement.

Acute suggests a finely honed sensitivity or receptivity to nuances that might escape others: it might also imply a high-keyed state of nervous attention that is not sustainable for long, e. g. an acute awareness of the slightest ambiguity in each statement made by his opponent: an acute alertness, heightened by the strange silence in the enemy.

Astute suggests a thorough and profound understanding, stemming from a scholarly or experienced mind that is in full command of a given field, e.g. an astute assessment of the strengths and weakness of the plans for reorganizing the department; an astute evaluation of the gaps in our knowledge of how life evolved.

Perspicacious is the most formal of these words; it stresses intensity of perception, without being very rich in other connotations, e. g. a perspicacious remark that illuminated the whole problem for all of them.

Calculating means shrewd or cunning.

10. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, as precise as a chemist’s scale, as penetrating as a scalpel.

(1) The sentence contains three similes, comparing his brain to three different things. It’s also a hyperbole.

(2)我的头脑和发电机一样强大，和药剂师的天平一样精确，和手术刀一样锐利。

(3) dynamo: an earlier form for generator, a machine that converts mechanical energy into electrical energy

(4) chemist’s scales: They are more precise and accurate than ordinary scales.

(5)penetrating: sharp (as of knife); keen or acute (as of mind)

11. And- think of it-I was only eighteen.

(1) Notice the use of dashes for emphasis.

(2) think of it: An exclamatory phrase to intensify that which follows. Some similar phrases are “Only think!” “Just think!” “Can you believe it!”

12. It is not often that one so young has such a giant intellect.

(1) Hyperbole, exaggerating for effect.

(2) giant intellect: great mind or intelligence

13. Same age, same background, but dumb as an ox.

(1) Ellipsis. He and I are the same age and have the same background but he is as dumb as an ox.

(2) The use of elliptical sentences, together with short sentences and dashes help maintain the speed of the narration.

(3) dumb: (American colloquialism or slang) stupid; unintelligent

(4) dumb as an ox: Simile, as stupid as an ox; very stupid. This kind of simile reflects differences in culture because the Chinese would not consider an ox dumb but would link dumbness to a donkey(笨驴).

(5)Why does the narrator consider Petey Burch dumb as an ox?

The narrator considers Petey Burch dumb because he thinks Petey is the emotional and impressionable type of person. However, Petey’s worst fault is that he is a faddist; he is swept up in every new craze that comes along.

14. A nice enough young fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs.

(1) Ellipsis. He is a nice enough young fellow, you understand, but there is nothing upstairs.

(2) nothing upstairs: (American slang) empty headed; a nitwit The corresponding British slang is “unfurnished in the upper storey”.

15. Emotional type. Unstable. Impressionable. Worst of all, a faddist.

(1) All four sentences are elliptical. The subject and verb “he is” are left out.

(2) faddist: a person who follows fads (a passing fashion or craze)

16. Fads, I submit, are the very negation of reason.

(1)I believe following passing crazes shows a complete lack of sound judgment.

(2)very negation: the complete (absolute) lack or opposite of some positive character or quality

(3) reason: sound thought or judgment; good sense

(4)Compare: Fashion is the prevailing custom in dress, manners, speech, etc. of a particular place or time, especially as established by the dominant section of society or the leaders in the fields of art, literature, etc. Fad stresses the impulsive enthusiasm with which a fashion is taken up for a short time.

17. To be swept up in every new craze that comes along, to surrender yourself to idiocy just because everybody else is doing it-this, to me, is the acme of mindlessness.

(1) to be swept up in: to be carried away by; to follow enthusiastically

(2) craze: something that is currently the fashion; fad

(3)to surrender yourself: to yield; to indulge (in)

(4)idiocy: behavior like that of an idiot; great foolishness or stupidity

(5) the acme of mindlessness: the height of stupidity; the utter absence of intelligence愚蠢到了极点

18. However, not to Petey

Ellipsis. This was not the acme of mindlessness, however, to Petey, meaning that Petey did not consider such behavior as the acme of mindlessness.

19. One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis.

One afternoon, when I went back to my dorm, Petey was lying on his bed. He wore such a depressed look that I came to the conclusion at once that he was suffering from appendicitis.

20. Don’t take a laxative.

It’s dangerous for people suffering from appendicitis to take any kind of laxative

21.“Raccoon?” I said, pausing in my flight.

(1)The narrator repeated “raccoon” as a question to show that he was surprised and didn’t understand why Petey mumbled this word.

(2) flight: The action of fleeing or running away from. Here it means the narrator suddenly stopped.

22.... pounding his temples

(1) temple: either of the flat surfaces alongside the forehead, in front of each ear

(2)……(他)捶打着太阳穴。

23. I should have known they’d come back when the Charleston came back.

(1)“They” stand for raccoon coats.

(2) Charleston: See Note 5.

24. “Can you mean,” I said incredulously…

(1) incredulous: unwilling or unable to believe; doubting; skeptical; showing doubt or

disbelief, e.g. an incredulous look

(2)Compare: incredible: not credible: unbelievable, e. g. an incredible story: an incredible amount of money

25. Where’ ve you been?

Not to be taken literally. It implies that the narrator is rather ignorant and does not know what everybody knows.

26. “In the library,” I said, naming a place not frequented by Big Men on Campus.

(1) In the library: Ellipsis. I’ve been in the library. This is a deliberate retort by the narrator. He takes Petey’s words literally, pretending not to understand his implied

criticism.

(2)frequent: to go to constantly; be at often

(3) Big Men on Campus:学校里的大块头们 It is referring to people like Petey Burch who are rarely seen in libraries, but only in football fields.

27. “I’ve got to have a raccoon coat,” he said passionately.

Compare: Passion usually implies a strong emotion that has an overpowering or compelling effect, connoting especially sexual love or intense anger. Eagerness implies great enthusiasm, zeal or impatience in the desire of or pursuit of something.

28, Petey, why?

Ellipsis. Petey, why must you have a raccoon coat?

29. Look at it rationally.

“It” is a rather vague pronoun here. It stands for the whole issue of owning and wearing a raccoon coat.

30. They shed.

The raccoon coats (the fur of the coats) cast off or lose hair (all the time).

31. It’s the thing to do.

It’s the right, proper or fashionable thing to do.

32. Don’t you want to be in the swim?

(1) Don’t you want to follow the current fashions? Don’t you want to be doing what everyone else is doing?

(2)in the swim: conforming to the current fashions, or active in the main current of affairs

33. My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear.

(1) Mixed metaphor, comparing at the same time the narrator’s brain to a precision instrument and also to a machine that has gears.

(2) My brain, which is as precise as a chemist’s scales, began to work at high speed.

(3) slipped into high gear: began to work at high speed or efficiency

A machine is in high gear when the arrangement or gears provide the greatest speed but little power.

34. “Anything?” I asked, looking at him narrowly.

(1)Anything: Ellipsis. Would you really give anything for a raccoon coat? Are you indeed willing to give anything away for a raccoon coat?

(2) narrowly, closely, carefully

35.“Anything,” he affirmed in ringing tones.

(1) Anything: Ellipsis. Yes, I’m willing to give anything for a raccoon coat.

(2) ringing: sounding loudly; resonant; clear and firm

(3) he affirmed in ringing tones: 他毫不含糊地大声说道

36. I stroked my chin thoughtfully.

stroke: to draw one’s hand, a tool, etc. gently over the surface of, as in caressing or smoothing

37. It so happened that I knew where to get my hands on a raccoon coat.

(1) Luckily I happened to know where I could get hold of a raccoon coat.

(2)get one’s hands on: usually lay one’s hands on, to get hold of, to seize

38. He didn’t have it exactly, but at least he had first rights on it.

He didn’t really own Polly Espy, or Polly Espy didn’t really belong to him. They were not married or going steady. But Petey got to know her before him; therefore he had the first claim.

39. I refer to his girl, Polly Espy.

The writer might have deliberately chosen the name “Espy”, i.e. to catch sight of, which may allude to her amazing physical attraction.

40. Why was the narrator interested in Polly Espy? What kind of girl was she?

According to the narrator, he was interested in Polly “for a shrewdly calculated, entirely cerebral reason”. He wanted Polly to help further his career as a lawyer. Polly was beautiful, gracious; only she was not intelligent. The narrator considered Polly “a beautiful dumb girl”, who would smarten up under his guidance to become a suitable wife for him.

41. Let me emphasize that my desire for this young woman was not emotional in nature.

The narrator wants to emphasize that he wanted to marry Polly Espy because he thought she would help to further his career as a lawyer. As a law student he takes pride in being practical, calculating, and logical. He regards it as a sign of weakness to allow personal emotions such as love to enter his important decisions.

42. She was, to be sure, a girl who excited the emotions. But I was not one to let my heart rule my head.

(1)She was beautiful and attractive enough to arouse the desires and passions of men, but I would not let feelings or emotions get the upper hand of reason or good sense.

(2)to let my heart rule my head: Metonymy. “Heart” stands for “feelings and emotions” and “head” for “reason and good sense”.

43. I wanted Polly for a shrewdly calculated, entirely cerebral reason.

(1) I wanted Polly entirely for a carefully thought out reason.

(2) shrewd: clever; sharp in practical affairs

(3)calculated: undertaken or accepted after the probable results have been estimated

(4) cerebral:(humorous) requiring the use of the intellect; intellectual rather than emotional

44. In a few years I would be out in practice.

(1) In a few years I would be out of school and working as a lawyer.

(2) practice: the exercise of a profession or occupation

45. I was well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife in furthering a lawyer’s career.

(1)I knew very well how important it was for a lawyer to have the right kind of wife. The right kind of wife would help promote a lawyer’s career.

(2) further: to give aid to; to promote

46. With one omission, Polly fitted these specifications perfectly.

(1) Except for one thing (intelligence) Polly met all the other requirements(beauty and grace).

(2) specification: (usually plural) a statement or enumeration of particulars, as to actual or required size, quality, performance, terms, etc. Notice the use of “specifications”. The narrator wanted to sound exactly like somebody talking about a serious business transaction.

47. Beautiful she was.

(1) Inversion to emphasize “beautiful”.

(2)Same pattern for “Gracious she was” and “Intelligent she was not”.

48. She was not yet of pin-up proportions, but I felt sure that time would supply the lack.

(1) She was not yet fully developed like pin-up girls but I felt sure that, given time, she would fill up and become just as glamorous.

(2) pin-up: (American colloquialism) designating a girl whose sexual attractiveness make her a subject for the kind of pictures often pinned up on walls

(3)proportion: lines, shape of the body

(4)supply the lack: supply what is wanting

He implies that time will give her a perfect figure. But he deliberately avoids using those explicit words describing female physical attractions.

49. She already had the makings.

(1) She already had all the physical qualities needed for developing into a very beautiful woman.

(2)makings: the material or qualities needed for the making or development of something

50. She had an erectness of carriage, an ease of bearing, a poise that clearly indicated the best of breeding.

(1)“Carriage” and “bearing” are synonymous. “Bearing”, in the context, denotes manner of carrying or conducting oneself and refers to characteristic physical and mental posture. “Carriage”, also applies to posture, specifically stresses the physical aspects of a person’s bearing, e. g. an erect carriage.

(2)她亭亭玉立、体态优雅,这一切都表明她出身高贵。

51. I had seen her at the Kozy Kampus Korner eating the specialty of the house-a sandwich that contained scraps of pot roast, gravy, chopped nuts, and a dipper of sauerkraut-without even getting her fingers moist.

(1) Kozy Kampus Korner: for “Cozy Campus Corner”, name of a campus restaurant or cafeteria

(2)specialty of the house: the special dish which the restaurant or cafeteria sells

(3)pot roast: meat, usually a large cut of beef, cooked in one piece by braising

(4) without even getting her fingers moist: (showing her dainty and refined table manner)Her fingers didn’t even get slightly wet. The implied humor is that the woman had a usually good appetite. She wolfed down everything.

52. In fact she veered in the opposite direction.

(1) In fact, she went in the opposite direction. This is a sarcastic way of saying that she was rather stupid.

(2)veer: to change direction; to shift; to turn or swing around

53. But I believed that under my guidance she would smarten up.

The narrator was conceited and considered himself superior to Polly. He believed that Polly would become more intelligent with his help.

54. It is, after all, easier to make a beautiful dumb girl smart than to make an ugly smart girl beautiful.

Antithesis, “beautiful dumb” and “smart” are balanced against “ugly smart” and “beautiful”.

55. I think she’s a keen kid.

(1)keen: (American slang) good, fine, excellent, etc., a general term of approval

(2) kid: (American colloquialism)a young person

56. I mean are you going steady or anything like that?

(1) I mean are you two sweethearts?

(2) go steady: (American colloquialism) to date someone of the opposite sex regularly and exclusively; be sweethearts

57. We see each other quite a bit, but we both have other dates.

date:(American colloquialism)a person of the opposite sex with whom one has a social engagement

58. In other words, if you were out of the picture, the field would be open.

(1) Metaphor, comparing the competing for friendship to an athletic event.

(2)If you're no longer involved with her (if you stop dating her) others would be free to compete for her friendship.

(3) out of the picture: not considered as involved in a situation

(4)field: an area where games or athletic events are held

(5)open: free to take part or compete in (games being held in the field)

59. nothing: Ellipsis. I’m implying or suggesting nothing.

60.…while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money from your old man, could you, and lend it to me so I can buy a raccoon coat?

Notice the form of the question “you couldn’t…could you” is used here to express an eager request while uncertain of its acceptance.

61. I may do better than that…

I may do better than lending you some money to buy a raccoon coat. I can actually get you a raccoon coat.

62. I said with a mysterious wink …

A transferred epithet. He said mysteriously with a wink (the wink was not mysterious).

63. I throw open the suitcase and reveal the huge, hairy, gamy object…

(1) gamy object: The raccoon fur coat had a strong smell.

(2)我一下子打开了手提箱，露出气味刺鼻的一团毛乎乎的东西。

64. “Oh yes!” he cried, clutching the greasy pelt to him.

“Oh yes, I would like to have it.” he cried, as he tightly clutched the oily fur coat.

65. Then a canny look canny look came into his eyes: Then a cautious look came into his eyes. He suddenly became alert and cautious.

66. “Your girl,” I said, mincing no words.

(1) I said directly and forcefully, “I want your girl.”

(2) mince: to lessen the force of; weaken, as by euphemism

67. a horrified whisper:惊愕地失声叫出来

68. “Never,” he said stoutly.

(1) I said directly and forcefully, “I want your girl.”

(2) stoutly: firmly and resolutely

69. What is the topic sentence of Para. 50? How does the writer develop the idea expressed in the sentence?

The topic sentence is: He was a torn man. The writer develops the paragraph by illustrative examples of the behavior of the torn man.

70. He was a torn man.

(1) He was agitated and tormented, not knowing what was the right thing to do.

(2) a torn man: 一个不知所措、左右为难的人

71. First he looked at the coat with the expression of a waif at a bakery window: smile, comparing his longing for the raccoon coat with the expression of a hungry homeless child looking longingly at the bread at a bakery window.

72. Then he turned away and set his jaw resolutely.

(1) set his jaw: He put his jaw in a fixed or rigid position. The action shows fixed, unyielding determination.

(2) to set his jaw resolutely: 挺着下巴，表示坚定不移

73. Back and forth his head swiveled, desire waxing, resolution waning.

(1) His head turned back and forth (looking at the coat then looking away from the coat). Every time he looked, his desire for the coat grew stronger and his resolution not to give away Polly became weaker,

(2) Antithesis. “Desire waxing” is balanced against “resolution waning”.

74. … he just stood and stared with mad lust at the coat.

(1) Hyperbole. It’s an exaggeration to describe his longing for the coat as “mad lust”. He just stood there, looking with great longing at the coat.

(2) mad lust: frantic, insane, overmastering desire

75. “It isn’t as though I was in love with Polly,” he said thickly. “Or going steady or anything like that.”

Petey Burch is trying to rationalize his action. He is trying to find an excuse for finally deciding to accept the coat and give up Polly.

76. What’s Polly to me, or me to Polly?

See Note 8. He has no reason to weep over losing Polly. Petey goes on rationalizing.

77. Not a thing: Ellipsis. Polly means not a thing to you.

78. It’s just been a casual kick-just a few laughs, that’s all.

(1) A final reason that eases Petey’s conscience. We occasionally went out for a bit of fun, that’s all.

(2) casual kick: (American colloquialism or slang) an occasional pleasure; a casual relationship; a passing affair; not a serious commitment

79. The coat bunched high over his ears and dropped all the way down to his shoes tops.

(1) The coat didn’t suit Petey. It was obviously too long.

(2) bunch: to gather into loose folds or wads, as a dress, skirt, etc.

80. Is it a deal: Is it a bargain? Will you take the coat?

81. How did the narrator’s first date with Polly Espy go?

The narrator had his first date with Polly to find out how dumb she really was. The result was disheartening. Polly was more ignorant than he had expected. The narrator realized that he had to make a great effort to make Polly smart enough to be his wife

82. How does the language used by Polly strike you? Find some examples from the text and explain what effect her language creates.

The writer deliberately makes Polly Espy use a lot of exclamatory words like “Gee, Oo, wow-dow” and clipped vulgar forms like “delish, marvy, sensaysh”, etc. to create the impression of a simple and rather stupid girl. This contrasts strongly with the language of the narrator, thus increasing the force of satire and irony.

83. Gee, that was a delish dinner.

(1)gee: an exclamation of surprise, wonder, etc.

(2)delish: clipped vulgar form for “delicious”

84. Gee, that was a marvy movie: Oh, that was a marvelous movie(see Note 95).

85. Gee, I had a sensaysh time: Oh, I had a sensational time.

86. What is the level of speech in Para.61? What purpose does it serve?

The language in this paragraph is more formal. The narrator felt depressed after the first date with Polly. To bring this feeling out, and to create a humorous effect, the writer uses formal phrases such as “with a heavy heart”, “gravely underestimated the size of the task”, "lack of information”, “a project of no small dimensions”, etc.

87. Why did the narrator teach Polly Espy logic? Did he succeed?

The narrator wanted a wife who would help to further his career as a lawyer. Polly was pretty, but the problem with her was that she did not know how to think, so he decided to teach her logic, the science of thinking. He succeeded only too well for in the end Polly refused to go steady with him and used all the “logical fallacies” she had been taught to reject his offer.

88. This loomed as a project of no small dimensions, and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey.

(1)To teach her to think appeared to be a very big task, and at first I even thought of giving her back to Petey.

(2)no small dimensions: Understatement or litotes, in which something is expressed by a negation of the contrary. For example, “no small” for “great” or “not a few regrets” for “many regrets”, etc.

89. But then I got to thinking about her abundant physical charms and about the way she entered a room and the way she handled a knife and fork…

(1) The narrator recapitulates Polly’s good points or those qualities which made him choose Polly as his prospective wife.

(2) the way she entered a room: her carriage and poise of bearing

(3) the way she handled a knife and fork: her refined table manners

90.... so I had all the facts at my finger tips.

(1)So I was completely familiar with all the facts.

(2)to have sth. at one’s finger tips: to be completely familiar with sth.; to have sth. available for instant use

91.... I picked her up on our next date…

(1) On our next social engagement day I called on her to take her along with me.

(2)to pick sb. up: to come to take sb. in one’s car

92.Oo, terrif: Oh, terrific. Oh! It’s wonderful.

terrific:(colloquial) great, wonderful

93. …you would go far to find another so agreeable.

(1) It is not at all easy to find a girl so agreeable.

(2)这么可爱的人可不容易找。

94. We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting place, and we sat down under an old oak…

(1)An implied allusion to Robin Hood, whose trysting (meeting) place was under a huge oak tree in Sherwood Forest. Robin Hood, in English legend, was an outlaw of the 12thcentury who lived with his followers in Sherwood Forest and robbed the rich to help the poor.

(2)Knoll: The name of the campus meeting place. Perhaps it was given this name because it was a small mound or hillock.

(3) trysting place: meeting place, especially where lovers meet secretly

95. Magnif: Magnificent. Logic would be a very nice subject to talk about.

magnificent: excellent

96. Wow-dow: interjection, an exclamation of surprise, wonder, pleasure, etc.

97. By all means: of course; certainly

98.... batting her lashes eagerly: blinking her eye-lashes rapidly to show excitement

99. I mean exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the body and everything

“And everything” is more or less a meaningless phrase here. It’s a weak, vague way of ending a sentence when the speaker fails to find something important to say. A similar phrase is “or anything like that” (see Paras. 30 and 51)

100. to qualify the generalization:对某种一般的陈述进行限定

101. Otherwise you have committed a Dicto Simpliciter: Metonymy. Otherwise you have committed a logical fallacy called “a dicto simpliciter ad dictum secundum quid”(see Note 9)

102. It will be better if you stop tugging at my sleeve…

(1) Polly, in her excitement, was tugging at the narrator’s sleeve and urging him to explain more logical fallacies. The narrator told Polly rather brusquely to stop this.

you stop tugging at my sleeve.

(2) it will be better: a request showing displeasure

103. Really? Nobody?

Two elliptical rhetorical questions. Is it really true that nobody at the University of Minnesota can speak French?

104. I hid my exasperation.

(1)The narrator was greatly annoyed by Polly’s stupidity when she did not understand that she was only making a supposition. He managed to control his temper.

(2)exasperation: great irritation or annoyance

105. This is more fun than dancing even: The regular word order would be: “This is more fun than even dancing.”

106. I fought off a wave of despair: For a moment a feeling of hopelessness came over me, but I managed to keep it off.

107. I was getting nowhere with this girl…

(1) I was making no progress with this girl.

(2)get nowhere: to make no progress; accomplish nothing

108. I am nothing if not persistent: A case of a double negative making a positive. I am very persistent. 我要是意志不坚定,我就不是我了。

109. Next comes Post Hoc: The next logical fallacy is Post Hoc.

110. Eula Becker, her name is: inversion to emphasize the name of the girl

111. It never fails: This sentence should come after the next one for “it” stands for the fact mentioned in that sentence.

112. You are guilty of Post Hoc: Metonymy. You have committed the logical fallacy called Post Hoc (See Note 10).

113. Yes, let’s: Polly is trying to be as agreeable as possible, so she repeats what he says: “Yes let’s (try Contradictory Premises).”

114. I frowned, but plunged ahead.

(1)我皱了一下眉头,但鼓足勇气继续往下讲。

(2)plunge: to move violently and rapidly downward or forward; here use figuratively,

meaning going on with the explanation of the fallacy

115. If there is an irresistible force, there can be no immovable object. If there is an immovable object, there can be no irresistible force: Antithesis, “irresistible” and “immovable” are balanced against each other.

116. Get it?:(American English) Do you understand?

117. Tell me some more of this keen stuff: Tell me some more of this exciting stuff

118. I consulted my watch.

(1)I looked at my watch to see what time it was.

(2)consult: to refer to or turn to, especially for information

119. I deposited her at the girls’ dormitory…

(1)I took her back and left her at the girls dormitory.

(2) deposit: (formal and humorous) to put, lay or set down

120.... the raccoon coat huddled like a great hairy beast at his feet: Simile. The coat looked like a hairy animal sitting at the foot of Petey's bed.

121. The girl simply had a logic-proof head.

(1) Polly had a head that was resistant to(would not be affected by) logic.

(2) -proof, resistant to, unaffected by, e. g. fireproof, waterproof, etc.

(3)a logic proof head:(这女孩儿的)脑袋是逻辑进不去的；(这女孩儿)对逻辑一窍不通

122. Who knew?: A rhetorical question, expressing some doubt or some hope. He might still succeed in teaching Polly some logic. Nobody could tell for sure.

123. Maybe somewhere in the extinct crater of her mind, a few embers still smoldered.

(1)Metaphor, comparing Polly’s mind to the extinct crater of a volcano, and “embers” to some sparks of intelligence. Perhaps there is still some intelligence left in Polly’s empty (or stupid) mind.

(2)也许在她死火山般的脑袋里,还有一点余火仍在闪烁冒烟。

124. Maybe somehow I could fan them into flame.

The metaphor is carried through. Perhaps I could develop the little intelligence still existing in Polly’s mind.

125. Admittedly it was not a prospect fraught with hope…

(1) One must admit that the outcome does not look very hopeful.

(2)admittedly: by general admission

(3) to be fraught with: to be filled, charged, or loaded with

126. When the boss…and winter is coming: a long loose sentence, which ordinarily would be broken up into two or three separate sentences.

127. Have you got a handkerchief?

The author is humorously projecting an image of a simple-minded, dumb girl who keeps side-tracking the issue under discussion.

128. I said in a carefully controlled tone: He had to control his tone to keep himself from screaming.

129. …surgeons have x-rays to guide them during an operation: Metonymy. Surgeons use X-ray photographs to guide them during an operation. It is seldom considered a “metonymy” now because X-rays are now commonly taken to mean “photographs made by means of X-rays”.

130. ...lawyers have briefs to guide them during a trial…

(1) Lawyers have a written summary of the main points of a case to guide them during a trial.

(2)brief: a concise statement of the main points of a law case, usually filed by counsel for the information of the court

131. There now… is the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years: There now is the most marvelous idea I’ve heard in a long time. Polly enthusiastically approves of what she thinks is a suggestion put forward by the narrator the supposed suggestion that students should be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination.

132.“Nuts,” I muttered: “Nuts” is an American slang. It is an exclamation of disgust, scorn, disappointment, refusal, etc.

133. Doggedly I pressed on: I went ahead stubbornly. I kept on persistently.

134. Sounds yummy: Sounds fine.

(1)yummy:(American colloquialism, echoic of a sound made in expressing pleasure at a taste) very tasty; delectable

(2)delicious: also used, chiefly by women, as a generalized term of approval

135.... it just knocked me out.

(1) I was excited and filled with pleasure by the movie.

(2)knock (oneself) out:(American slang) to elicit enthusiasm or an emotional response, especially deep sympathy or laughter

136. That Walter Pidgeon is so dreamy.

(1) That well-known actor Walter Pidgeon is so wonderful.

(2)that: adjective, designating someone not described but well known or easily

recognizable

(3)dreamy: (American slang) a general term of approval, excellent, wonderful, delightful, etc.

137. I mean he fractures me: I mean he knocked me out.

138. You can’t start with a hypothesis that is not true and then draw any supportable conclusions from it.

You can’t start with a supposition (in this case the “if” clause, “If Madame Curie had not happened to leave a photographic plate in a drawer with a chunk of pitchblende”) that is not true and then draw conclusions(here, “the world today would not know about radium”)that you expect to be true.

139. They ought to put Walter Pidgeon in more pictures.

(1)They ought to let Walter Pidgeon” act in more movie.

(2) picture: same as “movie picture”; a movie

140. One more chance, I decided: Ellipsis and inversion. I decided that I would give her one more chance.

141. There is a limit to what flesh and blood can bear.

(1)There is a limit to what any human being can bear.

(2)flesh and blood: synecdoche, material for the thing made

142. Poisoning the well: the logical fallacy “ad hominem” or speaking “against the man” rather than to the issue. The writer compares “the personal attack on a person holding some thesis” to “poisoning the well”-a metaphor

143. How cute: (American slang) How clever!

144. I watched her closely as she knit her creamy brow in concentration.

(1)I watched her as she thought very hard.

(2)knit the brow: to draw the brows together (as when thinking very hard)

(3)creamy: soft, white color (of Polly’s complexion)

(4) knit her creamy brow in concentration:(她)紧锁眉头,聚精会神(进行思考)

145. ... a glimmer of intelligence... came into her eyes.

(1) From her eyes I could see that for the first time she was beginning to understand the problem.

(2) a glimmer of intelligence:一丝智慧的闪光

146. The first man has poisoned the well before anybody could drink from it: Metaphor, comparing the speaker’s personal attack to poisoning the well.

147. He has hamstrung his opponent before he could even start: Metaphor, comparing the speaker’s personal attack to disabling a person by cutting one of the tendons at the back of his knee.

148. think-examine-evaluate: Ellipsis. All you have to do is to think, examine and evaluate.

149. Fire away!:(American colloquialism)Begin! Start! Come on!

150. ...with an airy wave of her hand: She waved her hand in a vivacious or gay manner. This showed that she was pleased with the praise she received from her boyfriend.

151. Over and over and over again I cited instances, pointed out flaws, kept hammering away without let-up.

(1)Over and over again I gave examples and pointed out the logical mistakes involved. I kept emphasizing all this without stopping.

(2)to hammer away(at): to keep emphasizing or talking about

(3)let-up: stopping; relaxing

152. It was like digging a tunnel: Simile, comparing his teaching to the hard work of digging a tunnel.

153. At first everything was work, sweat, and darkness…And then the chink got bigger and the sun came pouring in and all was bright.

The comparison is kept up and developed throughout the rest of the paragraph. At first it was very hard work(sweating and working in the dark) but finally he saw the light at the end of the tunnel and knew he had succeeded. After a lot of hard work he managed to make Polly think logically. When he went out at the other end of the tunnel he found the sun shining brightly.

154.Five grueling nights this took, but it was worth it: Inversion to emphasize “five grueling nights”. This (teaching Polly logic) took five extremely trying (exhausting) nights, but it was worth all the trouble.

155. I had made a logician out of Polly…

(1) I had turned Polly into a logician.

(2) to make a logician out of Polly:把波莉培养成逻辑学家

156. She was worthy of me at last: This, once again, shows the conceit of the narrator. Polly was now good enough to be my wife.

157. She was a fit wife for me, a proper hostess for my many mansions, a suitable mother for my well-heeled children.

(1)Here the narrator describes the role, which he thinks, a wife should play. First she should be a proper hostess of a rich man who owns many mansions. In other words she should be good at entertaining his rich friends and clients and thus further his career. Second, she should be a good mother and properly look after his rich and prosperous children.

(2)mansion: a large, imposing house; stately residence

(3)well-heeled: (American slang) rich, prosperous

158. Did the narrator love Polly Espy? How did he try to “acquaint her with his feeling”?

The narrator claimed that he loved Polly. Just as Pygmalion loved the perfect woman he had fashioned, the narrator now loved Polly as his creation. Now he was ready to propose for marriage.

159. Quite the contrary: Ellipsis. Quite the contrary, I loved this girl.

160.“Aw, gee,” she said, disappointed: Polly was disappointed because she wanted to hear more logical fallacies.

161. How did Polly respond to the narrator’s arguments for going steady with her? Why did she reject him? What does it show? As the story progresses, Polly turned out to be smarter than the narrator had previously thought. How does this contrast contribute to the humor of the piece?

The narrator taught Polly Espy how to recognize the common fallacies of logic. He succeeded too well because the whole thing backfired on him. Polly refuted all his arguments as logical fallacies and finally rejected him. In desperation the narrator argued that “the things you learn in school don't have anything to do with life.”The appeal didn’t work for Polly because she didn’t reject him on logical grounds. She rejected him because he didn’t own a raccoon coat as Petey Burch did.

162. It is clear that we are well matched: It is clear that we suit each other, that we’d make agood couple.

163. I beg your pardon: a polite formula of apology, disagreement, etc. Here the narrator uses this polite formula to express his surprise and disbelief. He did not know what to make of Polly’s answer.

164. How can you say that we are well matched on the basis of only five dates: How can you come to the conclusion that we’d make a good couple when we’ve been out together only five times. Your conclusion is hasty because it is not based on enough facts.

165. The dear child had learned her lessons well: This freshman adopted a very patronizing attitude towards Polly.

166. …patting her hand in a tolerant manner…

He is patronizing not only in speech and tone but also in action. He patted her hand in such a way as to show that he was ready to ignore something he did not quite like.

167. …five dates is plenty: The singular verb is used for emphasis and “five dates” is considered a single concept. This kind of construction is met with quite often in American speech.

168. I chuckled with somewhat less amusement.

Compare: Amuse suggests the agreeable occupation of the mind, especially by something that appeals to the sense of humor. Merry suggests something that is full of fun and laughter.

169. The dear child had learned her lessons perhaps too well: His patronizing and tolerant air was giving way to one of impatience or exasperation.

learned too well: learned so well as to be able to challenge the teacher

170. You are the whole world to me, and the moon and the stars and the constellations of outer space: hyperbole, exaggeration for effect

171.... say that you will go steady with me: Promise to be my sweetheart. Promise to go out with me only and no other.

172. I will languish.

Compare: Languish means to suffer with longing. Suffer means to undergo something that is painful or unpleasant, as injury, grief, a loss, etc.

173. I will wander the face of the earth, a shambling, hollow-eyed hulk.

(1)Hyperbole. Worn, wearied and dragging my feet, I’ll roam disconsolately all over the world.

(2)wander: roam, go about aimlessly

(3)shambling: walking in a lazy or clumsy manner, barely lifting the feet

(4)hollow-eyed: having deep-set eyes or dark areas under the eyes, as from sickness, mental suffering or fatigue

(5)hulk: an awkward person

174. There, I thought, folding my arms, that ought to do it.

(1) This direct declaration of love should move Polly to accept my love.

(2)这回波莉该动心了(应该能达到我的目的了)，我双臂交叉在胸前，想道。

175. I ground my teeth: an action, showing extreme exasperation, but still trying hard to control his rising temper.

176. Why does the narrator refer to Pygmalion and Frankenstein? Are the allusions chosen aptly?

These two allusions are well chosen. He planned to be Pygmalion, to fashion an ideal wife for himself; but he became Frankenstein for Polly(his student) ultimately rejected him(her teacher). For Pygmalion and Frankenstein see Notes 13 and 14.

177. I was not Pygmalion; I was Frankenstein, and my monster had me by the throat.

have sb. by the throat: attack by seizing and squeezing one’s throat

178. Frantically I fought back the tide of panic surging through me: Desperately I tried to stop the feeling of panic that was overwhelming me.

179. You’re darn right: You’re damned right. You’re absolutely right.

darn: (American colloquialism) a euphemism for “damn”

180.“Polly,” I croaked, “you mustn’t take all these things so literally...”

(1) The narrator’s feelings turn from exasperation to desperation. He is making a last attempt to win Polly’s love. Polly, you mustn’t take all the logical fallacies I taught you seriously.

(2) croak: to make a deep, hoarse sound; to speak huskily

181. I mean this is just classroom stuff: I mean that all the fallacies I taught you are just things taught in a classroom (implying they have no real use, that they are foolish or worthless ideas).

182. You know that the things you learn in school don’t have anything to do with life: A final desperate attempt to make Polly forget the fallacies he taught her. He might yet be able to convince Polly that he loves her and that she should go steady with him. You know that the(foolish and worthless) things you learn in school have no real use in life.

183. That did it: That was the final straw. That made me finally lose my patience completely.

This idiomatic phrase is used often and the meaning depends largely on the context. “That” refers to what has been mentioned before and “it” refers to the result or consequence brought about by “that”. Here “that” refers to Polly’s last answer and “it” to his loss of temper, “bellowing like a bull”.

184. I leaped to my feet, bellowing like a bull: Simile, comparing his angry shouts to the bellowing of a bull. I got so angry that I jumped to my feet and shouted.

185. I reeled back, overcome with the infamy of it: I staggered back, overcome by Petey’s traitorous act.

186. After he promised, after he made a deal, after he shook my hand.

(1) Ellipsis. He did this traitorous act after he promised…

(2)shook my hand: The shaking of hands seals a bargain. It is the final act to show that the deal is made.

187. The rat: Metaphor, comparing Petey to a rat. “Rat”(American slang ) is used to describe a despicable or contemptible person.

188. I shrieked, kicking up great chunks of turf: The narrator had now thoroughly lost control of himself and his temper. He now screamed and kicked up big pieces of grassy earth in his anger.

189. an immense effort of will:用强大的意志力，竭力

190. How could you choose Petey Burch over me: How could you prefer Petey Burch to me?

over: in preference to

191. Look at me—a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an assured future.

Look at Petey—a knot-head, a jitterbug, a guy who’ll never know where his next meal is coming from.

(1)Antithesis. “Brilliant, intellectual and assured” are balanced against “knot-head, jitterbug and never know where his next meal is coming from”.

(2)assured future: a safe and secure future

(3) knot-head: (American slang) an incompetent or stupid person

(4) jitterbug: (slang)a jittery, emotionally unstable person

(5)never know where his next meal is coming from: never be able to make a living: will always be poor

192. The final answer “He’s got a raccoon coat” made the irony complete.

Translation of the Text

爱情就是谬误

马克斯·舒尔曼

1．查尔斯.兰姆是个世所罕见的性情欢快、富有进取心的人，他笔下的散文《古瓷器》和《梦中的孩子》无拘无束、自由奔放，实在令人难忘。下面这篇文章比兰姆的作品更加自由奔放。事实上，用“自由奔放”的字眼来形容这篇文章并不十分贴切，或许用“柔软”、“轻松”或“轻软而富有弹性”更为恰当。

2．尽管很难说清这篇文章属于哪一类，但可以肯定它是一篇散文小品文。它提出了论点，引用了许多例证，并得出了结论。卡里尔能写得更好吗?拉斯金呢？

3．这篇文章意在论证逻辑学非但不枯燥乏味，而且活泼、清新，富于美感和激情，并给人以启迪。诸位不妨一读。

——作者注

4．我这个人头脑冷静，逻辑思维能力强。敏锐、慎重、深刻、机智----这些就是我的特点。我的大脑像发电机一样发达，像化学家的天平一样精确，像手术刀一样锋利。---你知道吗?我才18岁。

5．年纪这么轻而智力又如此非凡的人并不常有。就拿在明尼苏达大学和我同住一个房间的皮蒂.伯奇来说吧，他和我年龄相仿，经历一样，可他笨得像头驴。小伙子长得年轻漂亮，可惜脑子里却空空如也。他易于激动，情绪反复无常，容易受别人的影响。最糟糕的是他爱赶时髦。在我看来，赶时髦就是最缺乏理智的表现。见到一种新鲜的东西就跟着学，以为别人都在这么干，自己也就卷进去傻干---我认为这简直是愚蠢至极，但皮蒂却不以为然。

6．一天下午，我看见皮蒂躺在床上，脸上露出一副痛苦不堪的表情，我立刻断定他是得了阑尾炎。“别动，”我说，“别吃泻药，我就请医生来。”

7．“浣熊．”他咕哝着。

8．“浣熊?”我停下来问道。

9．“我要一件浣熊皮大衣，”他痛苦地哭叫着。

10．我明白了，他不是身体不舒服，而是精神上的问题。“你为什么要浣熊皮大衣?”

11．“我早该知道，”他哭叫着，用拳头捶打着太阳穴，“我早该知道查尔斯登舞再度流行时．浣熊皮大衣也会时兴起来的。我真傻，钱都买了课本，弄得现在不能买浣熊皮大衣了。”

12．我带着怀疑的眼神问道：“你是说人们真的又要穿浣熊皮大衣了吗?”

13．“校园里有身份的人哪个不穿?你刚从哪儿来?”

14．“图书馆，”我说了一个有身份的人不常去的地方。

15．他从床上一跃而起，在房间里踱来踱去。“我一定要弄到一件浣熊皮大衣，”他激动地说，“非弄到不可!”

16．“皮蒂，你怎么啦?冷静地想一想吧。浣熊皮大衣不卫生、掉毛、味道难闻、既笨重又不好看，而且……”

17．“你不懂，”他不耐烦地打断我的话，“这就叫时髦。难道你不想赶时髦吗?”

18．“不想，”我坦率地回答。

19．“好啦，我可想着呢!”他肯定地说，“弄到浣熊皮大衣让我干什么都行。”

20．我的大脑---这件精密的仪器 ---立刻运转起来。我紧盯着他，问道：“什么都行?”

21．“什么都行!”他斩钉截铁地说。

22．我若有所思地抚着下巴。好极了，我知道哪儿能弄到浣熊皮大衣。我父亲在大学读书期间就穿过一件，现在还放在家里顶楼的箱子里。恰好皮蒂也有我需要的东两。尽管他还没有弄到手，但至少他有优先权。我说的是他的女朋友波莉.埃斯皮。

23．我早已钟情于波莉·埃斯皮了。我要特别说明的是我想得到这妙龄少女并不是由于感情的驱使。她的确是个易于使人动情的姑娘。可我不是那种让感情统治理智的人，我想得到波莉是经过慎重考虑的，完全是出于理智上的原因。

24．我是法学院一年级的学生，过不了几年就要挂牌当律师了。我很清楚，一个合适的妻子对于一个律师来说是非常重要的。我发现大凡有成就的律师几乎都是和美丽、文雅、聪明的女子结婚的。波莉只差一条就完全符合这些条件了。

25．她漂亮。尽管她的身材还没有挂在墙上的照片上的美女那么苗条，但我相信时间会弥补这个不足。她已经大致不差了。

26．她温文尔稚 ---我这里是指她很有风度。她亭亭玉立、落落大方、举手投足都尽显她出身高贵。她进餐时，动作是那样的优美。我曾看见过她在“舒适的校园一角”吃名点---一块夹有几片带汁的炖肉和碎核桃仁的三明治，还有一小杯泡菜 ---手指居然一点儿也没有沾湿。

27．她不聪明，实际上恰恰相反。但我相信在我的指导下，她会变聪明的。无论如何可以试一试，使一个漂亮的笨姑娘变得聪明比使一个聪明的丑姑娘变得漂亮毕竟要容易些。

28．“波莉,”我说．“你在跟波莉·埃斯皮谈恋爱吧?”

29．“我觉得她是一个讨人喜欢的姑娘，”他回答说，“但我不知道这是不是就叫做爱情。你问这个干什么?”

30．“你和她有什么正式的安排吗?我是说你们是不是经常约会，或者有诸如此类的事情?，我问。

31．“没有，我们常常见面。但我们俩各自有别的约会。你问这个干什么?”

32．“还有没有别人令她特别喜欢呢?”我问道。

33．“那我可不知道。怎么了?”

34．我满意地点点头说：“这就是说，如果你不在，场地就是空着的。你说是吧?”

35．“我想是这样的。你这话是什么意思?”

36．“没什么，没什么，”我若无其事地说，接着把手提皮箱从壁橱里拿了出来。

37．“你去哪儿?”皮蒂问。

38．“回家过周末。”我把几件衣服扔进了皮箱。

39．“听着，”他焦急地抓住我的胳膊说，“你回家后，从你父亲那儿弄点钱来借给我买一件浣熊皮大衣，好吗?”

40．“也许还不只是这样呢，”我神秘地眨着眼睛说，随后关上皮箱就走了。

41．星期一上午我回到学校时对皮蒂说：“你瞧!”我猛地打开皮箱，那件肥大、毛茸茸、散发着怪味的东西露了出来，这就是我父亲1925年在施图茨比尔凯特汽车里穿过的那一件浣熊皮大衣。

42．“太好了!”皮蒂恭敬地说。他把两只手插进那件皮大衣，然后把头也埋了进去。“太好了!”他不断地重复了一二十遍。

43．“你喜欢吗?”我问道。

44.“哦，喜欢!”他高声叫着，把那满是油腻的毛皮紧紧地搂在怀里。接着他眼里露出机警的神色，说，“你要换什么?”

45．“你的女朋友，”我毫不讳言地说。

46．“波莉?”他吃惊了，结结巴巴地说，“你要波莉?”

47．“是的。”

48．他把皮大衣往旁边一扔，毫不妥协地说：“那可不行。”

49．我耸了耸肩膀说：“那好吧，如果你不想赶时髦，那就随你的便吧。，，

50.我在一把椅子上坐了下来，假装看书，暗暗地瞟着皮蒂。他神情不安，用面包店窗前的流浪儿那种馋涎欲滴的神情望着那件皮大衣，接着扭过头去，坚定地咬紧牙关。过了一会儿，他又回过头来把目光投向那件皮大衣，脸上露出更加渴望的神情。等他再扭过头去，已经不那么坚决了。他看了又看，越看越喜欢，慢慢决心也就减弱了。最后他再也不扭过头去，只是站在那里，贪婪地盯着那件皮大衣。

51．“我和波莉好像不是在谈恋爱，”他含含糊糊地说，“也说不上经常约会或有诸如此类的事情。"

52．“好的，”我低声说。

53．“波莉对我算得了什么?我对波莉又算得了什么?”

54．“根本算不了什么，”我说。

55．“只不过是一时高兴——不过是说说笑笑罢了，仅此而已。”

56．“试试大衣吧。”我说。

57．他照办了。衣领蒙住了他的耳朵，下摆一直拖到脚跟。他看起来活像一具浣熊尸体。他高兴地说：“挺合身的。”

58．我从椅子上站了起来。“成交了吗?”我说着，把手伸向他。

59.他轻易地接受了。“算数，”他说，并跟我握了握手。

60．第二天晚上，我与波莉第一次约会了。这一次实际上是我对她的考查。我想弄清要做多大的努力才能使她的头脑达到我的要求。我首先请她去吃饭。“哈，这顿饭真够意思，”离开餐馆时她说。然后我请她去看电影。“嘿，这片子真好看。”走出电影院时她说。最后我送她回家。和我告别时她说：“嘿，今晚玩得真痛快。”

61．我怀着不大痛快的心情回到了房间。我对这任务的艰巨性估计得太低了。这姑娘的知识少得令人吃惊。光教给她知识还不够。首先得教她学会思考。这可不是一件容易的事，当时我真想把她还给皮蒂算了。但我一想到她那充满魅力的身材、她进屋时的模样、她那拿刀叉的姿势，我还是决定再做一番努力。

62．就像做其他事情一样，我开始有计划地干了起来。我开始给她上逻辑课。幸好我是一个学法律的学生，我自己也在学逻辑学，所以对要教的内容我都很熟悉。当我接她赴第二次约会的时候，我对她说：“今晚咱们去‘小山’谈谈吧。”

63．“啊，好极了，”她回答道。对这姑娘我要补充一句，像她这么好商量的人是不多见的。

64．我们去了“小山”，这是校园里人们幽会的地方。我们坐在一棵老橡树下，她用期待的目光看着我。“我们谈些什么呢?”她问。

65．“逻辑。”

66．她想了一会儿，觉得不错，便说：“好极了。”

67．“逻辑学，”我清了清嗓子，“就是思维的科学。在我们能正确地思维之前，首先必须学会判别逻辑方面的常见谬误。我们今晚就要来谈谈这些。”

68．“哇!”她叫了起来，高兴地拍着手。

69．我打了个寒噤，但还是鼓足勇气讲下去：“首先我们来考究一下被称为绝对判断的谬误。”

70．“好呀!”她眨了眨眼，催促着。

71．“绝对判断指的是根据一种无条件的前提推出的论断。比如说，运动是有益的，因此人人都要运动。”

72．“不错，”波莉认真地说，“运动是非常有益的。它能增强体质，好处太多了!”

73．“波莉，”我温和地说，“这种论点是谬误。运动有益是一种无条件的前提。比方说，假如你得了心脏病，运动不但无益，反而有害，有不少人医生就不准他们运动。你必须给这种前提加以限制。你应该说，一般来说运动是有益的。或者说，对大多数人是有益的。否则就是犯了绝对判断的错误，懂吗?”

74．“不懂，”她坦率地说，“这可太有意思了，讲吧，往下讲吧。”

75．“你最好别拉我的袖子了，”我对她说。等她松了手，我继续讲，“下面我们讲一种被称为草率结论的谬误。你仔细听：你不会讲法语，我不会讲法语，皮蒂·伯奇也不会讲法语。因此我就会断定在明尼苏达大学谁也不会讲法语。”

76．“真的?”波莉好奇地问道．“谁都不会吗?”

77．我压住火气。“波莉，这是一种谬误，这是一种草率的结论。能使这种结论成立的例证太少了。”

78．“你还知道其他的谬误吗?”她气喘吁吁地说：“这比跳舞还有意思啦!”

79．我极力地使自己不灰心。我真拿这姑娘没办法，确实是毫无办法。可是，如果我不坚持下去，我就太没用了。因此，我继续讲下去。

80．“现在听我讲讲被称为牵强附会的谬误。听着：我们不要带比尔出去野餐。每次带他一起去，天就下雨。”

81．“我就见过这样的人，”她感叹地说，“我们家乡有个女孩，名叫尤拉·蓓克尔。从没有例外，每次我们带她去野餐……”

82．“波莉，”我严厉地说，”这是一种谬误。下雨并不是尤拉·蓓克尔造成的，下雨与她没有任何关系。如果你责怿尤拉·蓓克尔，你就是犯了牵强附会的错误。”

83．“我再也不这样了．”她懊悔地保证说，“你生我的气了吗?”

84．我深深地叹了一口气：“不，波莉，我没生气。”

85．“那么，给我再讲些谬误吧!”

86．“好，让我们来看看矛盾前提吧。”

87．“行。行。”她叽叽喳喳地叫着，两眼闪现出快乐的光芒。

88．我皱了皱眉头，但还是接着讲下去。“这里有一个矛盾前提的例子：如果上帝是万能的，他能造出一块连他自己也搬不动的大石头吗?”

89．“当然能，”她毫不犹豫地回答。

90．“但是如果他是万能的，他就能搬动那块石头呀。”我提醒她说。

91．“是嘛!”她若有所思地说，“嗯，我想他造不出那样的石头。”

92．“但他是万能的啊，”我进一步提醒她。

93．她用手抓了抓她那漂亮而义空虚的脑袋。“我全搞糊涂了，”她承认说。

94．“你确实糊涂了。因为如果一种论点的各个前提相互间是矛盾的，这种论点就不能成立，假如有一种不可抗拒的力量，就不可能有一种不可移动的物体；假如有一种不可移动的物体，就不可能有一种不可抗拒的力量。懂了吗?”

95．“再给我讲些这类新奇的玩意儿吧，”她恳切地说。

96．我看了看表，说，“我想今晚就谈到这里。现在我该送你回去了。你把所学的东西复习一遍．我们明晚再上一课吧。”

97．我把她送到了女生宿舍，在那里她向我保证说这个晚上她过得非常愉快。我闷闷不乐地回到了我的房间，皮带正鼾声如雷地睡在床上。那件浣熊皮大衣像一头多毛的野兽趴在他的脚边。当时我真想把他叫醒，告诉他可以把他的女朋友要回去。看来我的计划要落空了。这姑娘对逻辑简直是一点儿部不开窍。

98．但是我回过头一想，既然已经浪费了一个晚上，不妨还是再花一个晚上看看。天知道，说不定她头脑里的死火山口中的什么地方，还有些火星会喷射出来呢。也许我会有办法能把这些火星扇成熊熊烈焰。当然，成功的希望是不大的，但我还是决定再试一次。

99．第二天晚上我们义坐在那棵橡树下，我说，“今晚我们要谈的第一种谬误叫做文不对题。”

100．她高兴得都发抖了。

101．“注意听，”我说，“有个人申请T作，当老饭问他所具备的条件时，他回答说他家有妻子和六个孩子。妻子完全残废了，孩子们没吃的没穿的，睡觉没有床，生火没有煤，眼看冬天就要到了。”

102．两滴眼泪顺着波莉那粉红的面颊往下滚。“啊，这太可怕了!太可怕了!”她抽泣着说。

103．“是的，是太可怕了，”我赞同地说，“但这可不成其为申请工作的理由。那人根本没有回答老板提出的关于他所具备的条件的问题。反而乞求老板的同情。他犯了文不对题的错误。你懂吗?”

104．“你带手帕了没有?”她哭着说。 、

105．我把手帕递给她。当她擦眼泪时，我极力控制自己的火气。“下面，”我小心地压低声音说，“我们要讨论错误类比。这里有一个例子：应该允许学生考试时看课本。既然外科医生在做手术时可以看x光片，律师在审查案件时可以看案情摘要，木匠在盖房子时可以看图纸，为什么学生在考试时不能看课本呢?”

106．“这个．”她满怀激情地说，“可是我多少年来听到的最好的主意。”

107．“波莉，”我生气地说，“这个论点全错了。医生、律师和木匠并不是以参加考试的方式去测验他们所学的东西。学生们才是这样。情况完全不同，你不能在不同的情况之间进行类比。”

108．“我还是觉得这是个好主意，”波莉说。

109．“咳!”我嘀咕着，但我还是执意地往下讲，“接下去我们试试与事实相反的假设吧。”

110．波莉的反应是：“听起来不错。”

111．“你听着：如果居里夫人不是碰巧把一张照片底片放在装有一块沥青铀矿石的抽屉里，那么世人今天就不会知道镭。”

112．“对，对，”波莉点、头称是。“你看过那部影片吗?哦，真好看。沃尔特·皮金演得太好了，我是说他让我着迷了。”

113．“如果你能暂时忘记皮金先生，”我冷冷地说，“我会愿意指出这种说法是错误的。也许居里夫人以后会发现镭的，也许由别人去发现，也许还会发生其他的事情。你不能从一个不实际的假设出发，从中得出任何可以站得住脚的结论。”

114．“人们真应该让沃尔特·皮金多拍些照片，”波莉说，“我几乎再也看不到他了。”

115．我决定再试一次，但只能一次。一个人的忍耐毕竟是有限度的。我说，“下一一个谬误叫做井里投毒。”

116．“多有趣啊!”她咯咯地笑了起来。

117．“有两个人在进行一场辩论。第一个人站起来说：‘我的论敌是个劣迹昭彰的骗子，他所说的每一句话都不可信。’……波莉，现在你想想，好好想一想，这句话错在哪里?”

118．她眉头紧锁，我凝视着她。突然，一道智慧的光芒 ---这是我从未看到过的 ---闪现在她的眼中。“这不公平，”她气愤地说，“一点都不公平。如果第一个人不等第二个人开口就说他是骗子，那么第二个人还有什么可说的呢?”

119．“对!”我高兴地叫了起来，“百分之百对，是不公平。第一个人不等别人喝到井水，就在井里投毒了。他还不等他的对手开口就已经伤害了他。……波莉，我真为你感到骄傲。”

120．她轻轻地“哼”了一声，高兴得脸都发红了。

121．“你看，亲爱的，这些问题并不深奥，只要精力集中，就能对付。思考 分析 判断。来，让我们把所学过的东西再复习一遍。”

122．“来吧，”她说着，把手往上一晃。

123．看来波莉并不很傻，我的劲头上来了。于是，我便开始把对她讲过的一切．长时间耐心地复习了一遍。我给她一个一个地举例子，指出其中的错误．不停地讲下去。就好比挖掘一条隧道，开始只有劳累、汗水和黑暗，不知道什么时候能见到光亮，甚至还不知道能否见到光亮。然而，我坚持着，凿啊，挖啊，刮啊．终于得到了回报。我见到了一线光亮，这光亮越来越大，终于阳光洒进来了，一切都豁然开朗了。

124．我辛辛苦苦地花了五个晚上，但总算还是没有白费。我使波莉变成一个逻辑学家了，我教她学会了思考。我的任务完成了，她最终还是配得上我的。她会成为我贤惠的妻子。我那些豪华公馆里出色的女主人，我那些有良好教养的孩子们的合格母亲。

125．不要以为我不爱这个姑娘了，恰恰相反。正如皮格马利翁珍爱他自己塑造的完美的少女像一样，我也非常爱我的波莉。我决定下次会面时把自己的感情向她倾吐。该是把我们师生关系转化为爱情的时候了。

126．“波莉，”当我们又坐在我们那棵橡树下时，我说，“今晚我们不再讨论渗误了。”

127．“怎么啦?”她失望地问道。

128．“亲爱的，”我友好地对她笑了笑，“我们已经一起度过了五个晚上，我们相处得很好。显然我们俩是很相配的。”

129．“草率结论，”波莉伶俐地说。

130．“你是说 ---?”我问道。

131．“草率结论，”她重复了一遍。“你怎么能凭我们仅有的五次约会就说我们俩很相配呢?”

132．我咯咯一笑，觉得挺有意思。这可爱的小家伙功课学得可真不错。“亲爱的，”我耐心地拍打着她的手说，“五次约会就不少了，毕竟你不必把整个蛋糕吃下去才知道蛋糕的甜味。”

133．“错误类比，”波莉敏捷地说。“我可不是蛋糕，我是个女孩子。”

134．我微微一笑，但这次不感到那么有意思了。这可爱的孩子功课或许是学得太好了。我决定改变策略。显然，最好的办法就是态度明朗，直截了当地向她示爱。我沉默了一会儿，用我特别发达的脑袋挑选着合适的词语。然后我便开始：

135．“波莉，我爱你。对我来说，你就是整个世界，是月亮，是星星，是整个宇宙。亲爱的，请说你爱我吧。如果你不这样，我的生活就失去了意义。我将会萎靡不振，茶不饮，饭不思，到处游荡，成为一个步履蹒跚、双眼凹陷的躯壳。”

136．我双手交叉站在那里，心想这下子可打动她了。

137．“文不对题，”波莉说。

138．我咬咬牙。我不是皮格马利翁，我是弗兰肯斯坦，我的喉咙似乎一下子让魔鬼卡住了。我极力控制涌上心头的阵阵痛楚。无论如何，我也要保持冷静。

139．“好了，波莉，”我强装着笑脸说，“这些谬误你的确已学到家了。”

140．“这可说得很对，”她使劲地点了点头说道。

14l_“可是波莉，这一切是谁教给你的?”

142．“你教的呀!”

143．“是的，那你得感谢我。是吧，亲爱的?要是我不和你在一起，你永远也不会学到这些谬误的。”

144．“与事实相反的假设，”波莉不假思索地说着。

145．我甩掉r前额的汗珠。“波莉，”我用嘶哑的声音说道，“你不要死板地接受这些东两。我是说那只是课堂上讲的东西。你知道学校学的东西与现实生活毫不相干。”

146．“绝对判断，”她说道，嬉戏地向我摇摇指头。

147．这一下可使我恼火了。我猛地跳了起来，向公牛似的吼叫着，“你到底想不想和我谈恋爱?”

148．“我不想，”她答道。

149．“为什么不想?”我追问着。

150．“因为今天下午我答应了皮蒂·伯奇，我愿意和他相爱。”

151．我被皮蒂这一无耻的行径气得一阵眩晕，情不自禁地向后退去。皮蒂答应了我，跟我成了交，还跟我握了手呢!“这个可耻的家伙!”我尖声大叫，把一块块草皮踢了起来。“你不能跟他在一起，波莉。他是一个说谎的人、一个骗子、一个可耻的家伙!”

152．“井里投毒，”波莉说，“别叫嚷了，我想大声地叫嚷就是一种谬误。”

153．我以极大的意志力把语气缓和下来。“好吧，”我说，“你是一个逻辑学家。那就让我们从逻辑上来分析这件事吧。你怎么会看得上皮蒂·伯奇，而看不起我呢?你看我---一个才华横溢的学生，一个了不起的知识分子，一个前途无量的人；而皮蒂---一个笨蛋，一个反复无常的人，一个吃了上顿不知下顿的家伙。你能给我一个合乎逻辑的理由来说明你为什么要跟皮蒂好吗?”

154．“当然能，”波莉肯定地说，“他有一件浣熊皮大衣。”